He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
