then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize