# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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