What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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