im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
