Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
