Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
