Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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