Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
