plz talk dirty to me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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