Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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