Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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