dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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