Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is classic penis vs brain.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
