Pants 0. Shit 1.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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