We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
