Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
