Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
