Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
