'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize