I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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