I'm so fucking centered right now
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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