is your mom at the bar?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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