you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
