Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
