so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
