I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
