She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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