She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
