and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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