hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
