so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
