i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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