You just made me feel so damn special
Nicole vs. Life
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
