You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
