Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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