I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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