Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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