I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
