He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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