Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
