he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
