My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
