And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
