Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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