My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
