That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
