how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
