I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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