she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
