Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
