i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
