Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
