Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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