thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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