Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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