So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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