WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize