4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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