I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
