Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
