Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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