he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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