i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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