her vagine was all disorganized.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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