we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
