if you like me you must not know who I am
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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