You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
