whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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