Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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