I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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