If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
