i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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