her vagine was all disorganized.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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