I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
