A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
