I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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