Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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