There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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